I couldn’t remember my log on name or password. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve written a post. That’s terrible. I’m not sure how many readers I’ve lost, but I’m sure it’s lots. I miss this little space, but sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, and in this case it’s both.
The good. I got a new job. Yay! I don’t talk about work much on here, but I am very excited about the new gig. Thankfully my new work is just as flexible as my old work about allowing me to work alternate hours to try and maximize my time with Elliott and lessen my time away from her. I feel very fortunate for that. I still feel extreme mommy guilt about being away from her for as long as I am, but I know that it could be worse. It also means I have to wake up at an ungodly hour everyday to try to work as much as I can before she wakes up, and it means that I’m often on the computer after dinner, but that’s ok. We make sacrifices when things are important. I never knew how working moms juggled every thing, but you just do because you have to and there isn’t another option. It does mean that I have dropped other things (like this blog for a while), but I’ll eventually find my balance.
More good. Elliott is great. She’s a strong-willed, opinionated independent little girl that loves her mama tremendously and I love her fiercely. She shares a lot of my personality traits and a lot of her dad’s looks. And of course she’s got a little of her own quirks too. She’s changed tremendously over the last several months, and it’s crazy that next week she will be 8 months old. OMG. She understands so much more now, and seeing her process everything is just amazing. She’s meeting her milestones and acting like she wants to skip some (like crawling; I think she’d rather walk). If you want to see pictures of her, just follow me on instagram (MintedLife). It seems to be the only form of social media I can keep up with these days.
The bad. Elliott’s grandfather was diagnosed with a terminal illness 2 months ago and the terminal part is creeping up on us. I rushed Sean to the airport yesterday afternoon so that he could be with his dad, mom and siblings and I’m so sad that I’m not with him, but it’s that balancing act. I’m trying to maneuver how to be a good wife/mother/worker and supportive to Sean during this terrible time. It’s awful and sad and I feel like I never know the right things to say. I lost my dad in October when I was 12, and although I know the pain of losing a parent, I don’t know it as an adult with a new baby. My brother said something interesting about this, “as a kid you don’t have as big of a frame of reference, you kind of accept things as they are, and you definitely aren’t as aware of the long-term ramifications of losing a parent.” He’s right. Not that losing a parent or watching them battle a terminal illness is ever easy, but as a kid I know I was shielded from so much of what was happening.
Elliott and I might be on a flight very soon too (our 3rd round trip), but for now I’m going to keep trying to figure it all out, and probably stumble along the way.
E on our most recent flight to Denver to visit her grandfather (a picture with her dad seems fitting)